That Floating Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we consider the television offerings of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with woeful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the final season. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this show's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was hard to know where to start listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful parade of tropes? Acting so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. Except, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, abuse allegations and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Shady characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are forced to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Rather, the experience was akin to reading a sales brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How do you follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for explicit escapades as she prepared for her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.