Mastering the Art of Talk Romance Like a Zoomer: 51 Hyperspecific Words for Romance, Intimacy and Bad Behaviour

The current period signifies a full decade since the term “ghosting” entered the mainstream. Back then, the concept that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the height of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more confounding – an frequently fruitless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by online slang.

Zoomers, a demographic who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive breakdown to the words Zoomers is using to discuss love, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the recent most enduring memes, by the end of this list you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test loosely based on a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This refers to going for someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes partners who choose against having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal habits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their exes unstable, bad tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks validate your decision to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly shut down any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {